Hi-- exciting new changes!

ashley31715 · 2025-05-15T14:25:48+00:00

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Hello- I am Ashley (F, 27) and for the first time ever I am moving in with a boyfriend. I have always had a really unique and fun boho, colorful, comfortable style and I have been really really into making my home as comfortable as possible. My sweet sweet boyfriend is a 28 year old man who has also never lived with a girlfriend— but he grew up with all women! For the most part, he has given me free reign to do whatever I want to our home. We are moving into a 2 br, 2ba apartment in North Dakota (his home state). He is sporty, a little rustic, and pretty masculine where as I am eclectic, whimsical, and a mix of blues, yellows, pinks, greens. I like calm and colorful .

I want it to feel like we BOTH live there and incorporate both of our styles into our space. He says he doesn't care but I do. Attached are some pictures of my first apartment to provide some places to start.

ANY advice about moving in with someone who doesn't care about how things work? Any advice on making a cozy home with someone whose style doesn't match yours? Below is my current pinterest board.

https://pin.it/311uUncSW

Disclaimer: this was my living situation 4 years ago and from the last time I lived in an apartment. It isn't perfect, I was younger and poorer and I did the best I could. Yes I know things are crooked and not straight :(

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Comments

DanielaAraya

Oh I just love your colorful style! You did a great job with your last apartment. My biggest piece of advice when moving in with your partner is to take things slow. The idea of a move + blending styles + navigating all the bits and bobs of this exciting phase in life can be a lot, so I would try to remove any pressure you might be putting on yourself to figure it out quickly. I learned that the hard way 😅 My husband is similar to your boyfriend in that he generally just wants me to do what I want with the house, and even though he started with very little design opinions, I have really tested him with my design choices and learned that he does in fact have an opinion on things haha! Sometimes it's just easier to react to something when you don't know what you like. Now over the years, I know what he will/will not enjoy and I'm sure you will pick up on those things too. But if you're taking the lead on the decorating, I would try and keep your boyfriend involved in some capacity. Maybe he doesn't need to be looped into every decision, but I'd say color choices and big financial purchases are worth talking through to get his reaction, only because it eliminates the potential for confusion or confrontation later. Color specifically is so personal to us, so that was one of the first conversations my husband and I had when decorating our space. I think the little things, like artwork and photos around the apartment, are great ways to infuse both of your interests and personalities into the space. What kind of sports is he into? Are there artists or musicians that you both enjoy listening to? Does he have sentimental pieces from his childhood that he is holding onto? Think about how you can bring those to light at home

Shelly

Your Pinterest board shows a strong affinity for blue and rust. Show him these colors and see how he feels about them. Color is so personal and important that as a starting place for design you need to agree on it. He will have an opinion even if he doesn’t think so yet. My husband then boyfriend claimed not to be interested in choosing furniture but then insisted we keep his dreadful recliner. I bit my tongue and when it fell apart a year later I was able to convince him that a really good leather wing chair was the way to go. 25 years later that chair still looks great. Your decor like your relationship is something you both need to invest in. You both need to agree on major purchases like a sofa so that you are both happy with the price and the comfort. It takes time to make a home so use the furniture you currently own and swap things out with new investment pieces as you go. We buy art on vacation, the only rule is we both have to love it. I hope you enjoy creating your home as much as I have.