Sarah from Winner Celebration Party's Profile

I really enjoyed this post. Among the medium-sized but growing collection of cookbooks on my shelf, the ones this post brings to mind are "Discovering Korean Cuisine: Recipes from the Best Korean Restaurants in Los Angeles" (Allisa Park, editor) and "Tender" by Nigel Slater. The slim Korean cookbook is one I pull off the shelf regularly, especially when my Korean mom is not on hand to tell me how to make something. It culls recipes from some of LA's Korean restaurants and offers clear, beautiful photographs to boot. The recipes are streamlined and easy-to-follow, perfect for beginners. I often deviate from them, based on my mom's advice and my own taste, but they are still a great jumping-off point and also a good collection of some more popular Korean dishes in the States.

I've only tried one recipe from Tender so far; the recipes often seem to be loosely written with some gaps. But I love the weight of the book, the feel of the pages, the photography. Where some books are loud and flashy, this one is quiet and calm. Plus it gives me a deeper appreciation for vegetables (and Slater).

@eczblack Thanks for sharing that story! I was about to say, "Wow," yet again, but what is surprising me more is just how common these bad visitor stories are (at least based on these comments). The safest rule always seems to be to just ask your would-be host ahead of time, "Are you going to be free?" and then trust whatever they say. I always assume my friends are busy with work/family/partners, even if they're my closest friends, and I try to schedule my visits for times convenient to them. That seems so obvious, yet apparently not to all!

I would be curious to see a discussion among these guests (or even the bad hosts) to see what is going on in their minds.

As for saying "no" - I wonder if there is a generation/age factor at play, or at least a life phase factor. I could imagine myself being married one day, with maybe kids, maybe a pet, on top of a full-time job, at which point, maybe I would feel more confident saying no to someone wanting to stay with me. But when I was a student, or in my early twenties, living alone or with roommates and a 9-5 job or a few classes, it seemed much harder to say no. Also, among my peers, there is this air of casual friendliness whereby everyone acts as if it is no big deal to host guests and it's almost de facto expected that you will open your doors and not force your low to average income-earning friends to pay for hotels. In that regard, I'm a little old-fashioned in that I'm a bit more formal when it comes to drawing privacy lines.

Love this discussion, interested to read all the anecdotes!

@ellabee - Your story about the spoons? Wow, just wow.

I can't recall any objectively awful experiences with houseguests, which probably means I've never had anything worse than "annoying" guests.

I'm "lucky" to live in a very small one bedroom apartment with my boyfriend, which means that I can use "Sorry, our place is tiny and it's not ideal for guests" as an excuse to ward off inquisitive would-be guests. This doesn't apply to my inner circle of friends and family.

My question is: How do you turn down people who fall in that middle category-not quite close friends, but not mere acquaintances? I believe that one should be able to say a simple no, but I worry that unless I give a reason or explanation for why I can't host someone, the person will think I'm rude, or worse, rejecting our friendship. In fact, I have a few friends who are sensitive to this type of thing, though fortunately, none of them has asked me to host yet.

A house guest should be highly conscious of the fact that the host is not only offering free lodging but also hospitality. It AMAZES me, and I'm in my mid-late twenties, that people arrive in town expecting their friends to act as chauffeurs, maids, and cooks. To me, it's not about being perfect and invisible but simply about showing consideration and appreciation for your host. Thankfully, most of my friends fall on the "hyper consciously clean and considerate" side of the line.

My most recent experience was only an "almost houseguest." A college acquaintance with whom I had worked on a few projects was visiting my city of Los Angeles, from Southeast Asia (I won't say where). I hadn't spoken to her in years but liked her. I warned her (1) my space was too small for guests and (2) I was studying for the bar exam. No problem, she said, she had a place to stay, and she had other plans, other people to see. But she kept asking me to meet her. I hinted at my demanding study schedule and said I could, at most, squeeze in brunch. I drove an hour to pick her up (it turned out she wasn't staying in LA proper, after all), drove us to brunch, drove her to ANOTHER address afterward (since she was moving locations for the night). That was fine. She insisted we meet up again the following weekend, but I warned her I might be busy. At this point, the exam was coming up, I was studying up to 18 hours a day, eating while memorizing outlines, and needless to say, my stress level was high.

Thankfully I got to skip a second meeting. But one Sunday night, the night before she was supposed to leave for her next vacation destination, she sent me a rushed email. Her lodging had fallen through-could she stay with me that night? What irked me is not only that this email arrived last minute, but there was no acknowledgment of my busy schedule, no "I know you're busy, but...". I didn't want to ask, but I assumed, since the email didn't say otherwise, that she wanted me to drive another hour to pick her up, then take her to the airport the next morning. In ALL other times in my life, I would have been the pushover and said yes, but I was close to a nervous breakdown (literally). Note: If it were any other summer, I would have gone to the ends of the earth for my friend. I would have driven her around LA gladly, acting as tour guide.

So here are two helpful tips I would share, one specific to LA, one specific to (unfortunate) friends of bar takers:

1. If your would-be host is studying for the bar exam, don't approach that person, even with a ten-foot pole. Even if your friend is normally a kind, generous people, even if that person is your best friend, his or her heart is likely being squeezed of any compassion by a tight vise of survival methods and sleep deprivation. This wil sound crazy, but don't expect them to volunteer to have brunch or to host you during your stay. Yes, it's *just* an exam, but even so, many if not most of the people preparing for it become extremely neurotic. It happened to the best of us.

2. If you are visiting Los Angeles: Driving times are dictated by traffic, NOT DISTANCE. Even if you are just "across town," your host might have to drive for an hour (or more!) simply to meet you, depending on the time of day. Some locals, like my sister, take this in stride, but don't expect everyone to be so eager to brave the 405 or the 10 during rush hour. TIP: Plan meeting times and locations well in advance, allowing your host to suggest alternatives in case the suggested time or location means clogged streets. ILLUSTRATIVE STORY: When my cousin from Korea was visiting, her smart but clueless friend asked if I could drive across town to pick her up, bring her back to my neighborhood by the beach, then take her back 2 hours later so that she could meet her cousin (who lives in LA). This meant crossing the city four times-one leg took 1.5 hours because of an accident. Because I knew it would be rude and embarrassing to my cousin to express how stressed and annoyed I was, I just put the radio on and started singing loudly. Luckily, my cousin saw through it and bought me dinner that night, making sure to tell me, "You don't have to pretend to be happy anymore"- HA!

Depending on the type of salad, sometimes I add a tiny bit of sesame oil. I also like green onion, or a spoonful of Greek yogurt.

This meditation so rings true with me. After I started food blogging over a year ago, food became, overnight, about constantly finding the new, the exciting, the impressive. Even basic things like oatmeal turned into elaborate posts. It became less about the experience of food and more about the idea (and visual representation) of food.

But I went on vacation with a few friends last month, and there, we lived on a frugal budget, cooking our own meals, buying what was on sale rather than what was in season. The dishes were simple-grilled fish, guacamole, some soba noodles, a gazpacho...but I felt more satisfied and alive than I had been in a long time. That vacation reminded me of what it felt like to be actually hungry, to make food with others not for fun but to eat, and to have the same attitude toward food that I had growing up with my mom's cooking--respect, as you say, and also an open mind (as I learned some people do NOT like onions in their guacamole.)

Ooh yes! I love Bandol roses and can't wait to seek this one out!

Yes! I just picked up my copy at my local Whole Foods here in Venice. There's new material, though I unfortunately can't say how much, since I didn't start reading Domino until the tail end of its run. It is, however, over 100 pages of beautiful glossy photos and tips. The first page includes: ". . . along with fresh stories and thrilling new things to buy (we know that's your favorite part!), we've highlighted the magazine's best and sanest solutions—with an emphasis on saving you time, money, and stress. . . ." It's organized into three main sections: The Makeover Manual (mini projects), The Inspirations, and The Sourcebook. Masthead comes at the end.

It's an interesting concept...I would have hoped for a brand spankin' new special issue. This issue seems a little random to me, despite the attempt at macro-categorization. But I'm still glad to have it, loving Domino!

Good idea...my mom used to dry Ziplocs by opening them and putting them over the drinking water spout!

she's adorable, and the video is inspiring! my kitchen is about that size, but my real problem when it comes to entertaining is my living room. it's such an awkward layout, with only one real wall and no room for seating, let alone any sort of dining surface. plus there's no separation between kitchen and living room, making everything feel like you're living in a shipping container :D

Know what's sad? When I first read this title of this post, I didn't get it. I thought it was riffing on "totes," as in "totally." (I do NOT use that word, fyi!).

Just curious, have you tested any/all of these? I'm looking for something that's truly leakproof, and so many containers fail that test.