designmind's Profile

I believe you can abide by your ethics and avoid being trampled by your friend's etiquette violation in one fell swoop. Here is Miss Manners answering a reader who was also taken aback by a baby shower solicitation:

"Parties such as showers and birthday parties are now commonly planned solely for the gratification of the honorees (who are commonly the hosts or the hosts' relatives), without consideration being given to the enjoyment of the guests, whose contributions are blatantly solicited.

Fortunately, attendance at parties is optional. You owe your friends your congratulations and good wishes; you do not owe them any form of child support."

Anyone wishing to celebrate a joyous occasion with friends without appearing to be soliciting gifts has a simple way to do this. She invites her friends to a party at her home, a friend's place, or a restaurant, for example. The hostess pays for the food and drink, and while catching up as friends do, her guests will learn of the impending excitement. They may exclaim, "Oh, you should have told me! I would've brought a present!" The gracious hostess will respond, "Your being here is all the present I could want." If none of your friends could honestly respond the same way, you may want to make new friends.

Potlucks are a way for people to get credit for entertaining without expending time and money preparing food for those they invite. Why give a hostess gift to someone who isn't really hosting? If someone invited you to dinner at a restaurant but then required you to pay for your food, would you feel they deserved a gift for the invitation? Save that effort for hosts who truly make those invited their guests.

I like thesmilequeen's idea of remote controlled surge protectors better than what I've been doing with my plasma tv and electronics chargers. I plug those things into a thing that itself plugs into the wall. The thingee, about $6 at Rite-Aid, has a switch I can flip to cut off power to it. But you do have to get behind the furniture the tv and chargers are on to flip the switch.

A tiny woman who dates guys over 6', I cannot sleep with a boyfriend in a double bed. Once a bf and I visited the bf's sister, whose guest bed was a double. Neither the bf nor I could sleep. When we first moved in together, we slept in sleeping bags on the floor, which had cheap, thin carpet over concrete slab. That was much more comfortable than the one night sharing his sister's guest room's double bed. I wouldn't tell someone they SHOULD be able to sleep well in a bed that is too small for THEM. YMMV, of course.

Your persistence and creativity inspire me. You did quite well with a very challenging space!