Mary B C's Profile

I am always bringing new things into my house - I love scrounging flea markets and yard sales. That means that I always have to move old things out. So, I sell a lot of things on CL.

The worst experiences I have are when I give something away for free. I had a 30-lb bag of expensive dog food once. New flavor, made my dog constipated. So, essentially, $40 of dog food free to a good home, during the height of the recession. I told CL readers that it was going to be in a bag on the curb. Some woman e-mailed me, telling me that she had to drive up from the city and would be here in an hour. I responded (when I got the e-mail) saying the bag would go to whomever came to get it first. It went in 10 minutes or so. An hour later, the woman showed up at my door, and started YELLING at me for not holding the dog food for her. Literally, I had to close the door in her face as she stood there yelling at me. (Luckily, the dog whose food I was giving away sound much scarier and more threatening than he is.) And the woman e-mailed me and yelled some more after she got home.

In my experience, the giveaway stuff somehow gives people a much bigger sense of entitlement than the sold stuff - even if the price is just $10, it changes the nature of the transaction, somehow.

As for karma, I would like to believe in it, but don't really. I do think that people who go through life with good and honest intentions tend to see goodness and honesty as the norm - or maybe seek out goodness and honesty - while those who lie, cheat, and steal see lying, cheating, and stealing everywhere they go, whether it exists or not. Or, perhaps they populate their lives with others who lie, cheat, and steal? Sort of "create your own reality."

One reader's stating that karma doesn't exist is not more hurtful or close-minded than another reader's stating that karma DOES exist.

@Rainywoods: consider that one reader posted her belief about the absence of karma - the framing question around which this post is centered - whereupon you posted a personal insult ("unkind") about that reader. Consider the possible karmic fallout of that behavior! Or, in the absence of karma, consider whether "You don't agree with me so you're mean" is a useful and constructive point of debate, going forward.

I'm a schoolteacher, and a few years ago I began writing each of my 8th graders a "winter solstice card" along with a very small, token gift. (See how I, a science teacher covering the solar system, cleverly dodge the politically correct holiday conundrum!?) In each card, I say one nice thing that I appreciate about each kid. It's not always easy - some of the kids are very challenging - but sometimes the kids I struggle with the most are the ones who appreciate the cards the most. Last year, one very difficult boy was the only kid who stopped to really read his card - and then he made eye contact with me and said, "Thank you Ms. __." He needed the nice note more than any of the "easy" kids who got affirmation from their parents.

I'm not sure yet if the little cards have a giant impact on the kids... but the fundamental change is in me. When I have to search my memories to find the best qualities in a child, it sometimes transforms the way I look at the child, and makes my days simply better.

Might I suggest that outside of teaching "lying," asking children to find one or two nice things to say about each gift might teach them GRATITUDE? Like, say, "Wow, Aunt Millie! It must have taken you hours to knit this sweater! That's so thoughtful!" Or... "Uncle George, it's so nice that you thought of me when you traveled to San Francisco and bought this miniature Golden Gate Bridge pencil sharpener!"

I dunno... I live an hour outside of Boston, and can think quickly of 5 "antique" stores that regularly feature dressers or bureaus for $95 or so. They are so common and so dirt-cheap. There are MCM pieces as well as antique Eastlake pieces, and just about everything in between. Salvation Army around here always has massive long, low bureaus from the 50s and 60s, plus tall ones.

I suspect the same situation isn't true everywhere - especially in the newer-settled areas like LA. But bureaus are so ubiquitous - I imagine they turn up in junk and thrift stores everywhere!

Old stuff is well-made, too!

Please don't lose any sleep worrying about predators taking your child because you didn't hang a curtain on your back door. Yeesh. The real statistics about dangers to children reveal an almost-nothing chance of stranger kidnapping. (Less than dying of the flu, or an accident, or heart disease.)

Great space. I love your knick knacks. Would like to see a full-on shot of that Somerville Theater painting. :)

Um... no.

If I need broccoli, I'll find a way to ingest it and avoid tasting it as much as possible. I sure as heck won't put it in a perfectly good cupcake (muffin?) and surprise innocent passersby.

Cupcake = sweet yummy love.
Broccoli = unfortunate necessity of existence.

Never the twain shall meet.

When interest rates were high (what is that now... 10 years ago!?), I went online with my bank because I was making 6% on my $10,000 nest egg. (Imagine - I made $60 a month just for having my cash sit there!)

The 6% is long gone, but I still love online banking. My bank is USAA (USAA.com), and their customer service is THE BEST. If they shift me from banking to insurance, they actually stay on the line with me and introduce me to the person who's going to be taking over the phone call. Fabulous. They also reimburse ATM fees up to 10 transactions a month, I think, so it's like having a local bank even though they're based in TX and I'm in MA.

I pay all my bills online - can't really tell you where my envelopes and stamps are. I keep my "real money" in USAA.com, and keep a small "pin money" account in my local bank. I can transfer money in and out of both.

Online bill pay has changed that chore from an onerous one to a simple, quick, and easy one.

I love the images, too.

And, can I just say... what a poorly planned place to stick the thermostat! You have done a great job working around that misstep!

I like the mason jar look... but what bothers me about the toothbrush thing is that within days, the bottom of each jar will be scaled and speckled with white toothpaste debris - it will not be a clean look at all. Better to use an opaque container if you're going to do this.

I've been on the 'net since early times (well, early 90s, anyway), and have seen this conversation in a million permutations on forums about TV shows, dogs - you name it.
The thing is, comments sections or online forums are open conversations, not edited magazines. Conversations flow where they flow.

I was in a forum once where everyone kept trying to relegate topic X to its own separate folder. (Some folks didn't like hearing about topic X.) Problem was, topic X was of fairly broad (though occasional) general interest, and it often popped up as an offshoot of other conversation. You couldn't legislate that it wouldn't, and I never really understood why anyone would try.

I enjoy the offshoot discussions in this forum as much (if not more) than the discussions about the design of a specific apartment. I learn new words, hear what's going on elsewhere, and in general get to see what people are passionate about. (I knew almost nothing about rent control before reading AT, and now I see the various viewpoints.) I for one would like to let the comments continue to be (kindly) free-flowing. If I find something drifts into an area I'm not interested in, I'll just stop reading. No harm, no foul.

For those of us in areas without rent control, it just seems odd. I used to rent an apartment for $750, 10 years ago. It now rents for $1200 or $1300 a month. My salary probably would have allowed me to keep up with increased rents... but meanwhile, I bought a condo and then a house, and my mortgage is less than rent on a 2-bedroom in this neighborhood.

So... yeah. I guess the rest of us don't understand why, in some places, you can rent a place and then avoid the increases in rent that the rest of us either have to accept and pay, or reject and move to smaller places. And, yeah... rent control does cause the landlord (and taxpayers?) to subsidize housing for some people, while the rest of us have to bear the free market price on renting.

Seems all around a strange system - letting people temporarily pretend they can afford a lifestyle they can't really afford.

The traditional route to consistent payments on housing has been home ownership. Yes, I (and most others) can't afford to buy in NYC or SF. Nothing in the constitution guarantees me the right to a spacious loft in a hopping cultural center. No one dies from having to live in a (gasp!) staid and unchic town.