msalliep's Profile

@Carrotsticks and @anyone else who thinks it's okay not to RSVP. It's more than just the hostess being a big baby and not liking surprises. @sunsweet requesting an RSVP isn't necessarily meant to make the guest feel like it's an obligation to commit. At least for me and RSVP is how I find out whether I should throw a party or if I'm wasting my time for ingrates who don't even have the respect for me as their friend to let me know if it's worth my time or money to continue with the plans and not cancel. I'll give you a great example:

6 months ago I moved from my home town to a town an hour and a half away. 3 months ago I let all of my friends know that I was planning on having a party for my birthday and to show off my new place (since i never officially had a house warming party) the following month and proposed a few dates for my closest friends and I to come to a decision on in an attempt to find one that would work for most of us and then if my more casual friends weren't able to make it so be it but at least my best friends would be there. Since I knew the few of them would have to travel a little way to attend but since it was really important to me that they be there I made every effort to make it easy on them offering them a place to stay for the evening, trying the help coordinate travel plans and letting them in on deciding the party date. Almost all of them said they would be there so I started making plans and sent out the official e-vite. In addition to the 6 of them I invited about 30 or so other friends. I received about 6 yes (4 of which were from my 6 closest friends), 3 no, 10 maybe responses and from the rest I heard nothing. I assumed from the RSVP list there would be around 10 people in attendance so I planned accordingly including plenty of food (from scratch) and cocktails. The night of the party only my best friend, a neighbor I had just met a few weeks before and two other friends I had made since relocating showed up. That was it! Most of the people that told me yes didn't even bother to cancel at the last minute. Oh, and my two new friends showed up late, stayed an hour and then excused them selves to the other plans they had made as a back up. Had all of my "friends" been honest with me I could have saved my self a world of trouble not to mention time and money and spent a night out having a great time with my best friend. Needless to say my birthday not to mention my desire to ever throw a party again (something I have always loved to do) was ruined by arrogance, rudeness and a lack of honest RSVPs.

So I think I speak for everyone who has ever had a party ruined by not knowing who if anyone was coming. Yes, it is absolutely necessary that an RSVP happen regardless of the answer. Most hostesses/hosts don't care what excuse you cook up if you don't want to or can't attend since chances are if someone doesn't really want to be there the party will be more will with out them. We just want honesty to avoid feeling like all of our efforts were in vain.