klkhr's Profile

I live in a relatively large condo in NYC (1100 sq ft) and we have decent closet space in the two bedrooms. Kitchen storage is moderate, little to none in the bathrooms, but I have adjusted my shopping habits accordingly (no car, no wheelie cart, so only what I can carry and only what I have room to store). Some days, I really miss Target (I'm from MN, where you're never far from one) and my car -- for days when I have a lot of errands to run, like shopping for a party or things that are large and heavy (potting soil and plants) -- but most days it's fine. I've learned to really plan ahead for parties and get part of what's on my list each time I stop at the store.

A few things I buy in bulk -- toilet paper and paper towels are on Amazon subscribe-and-save, because it's so much easier to have that bulky stuff delivered. I shop for groceries 3-4 times a week, and would rather reserve my "carrying power" for food, which is heavy enough when you're getting OJ and milk in the same trip. I hate to buy TP every week (or more, if we have company, which we often do) and discovered when we first moved here that it bothered me to always feel like we were on the verge of running out. (Silly, maybe, but that's how I felt!)

I like to have at least one spare of everyday food and toiletry staples (toothpaste, shampoo, vinegar, brown sugar, etc.) so if I forget for a few days to put it on the shopping list when it's getting low, I don't find myself stuck without any deodorant or end up having to punt mid-recipe when it turns out I'm short of an ingredient. I also like to be sure I have a few other staples on hand (dried pasta and jarred sauce, tuna) so if I haven't planned ahead for a lunch or dinner, I can throw something together quickly.

Other than that, I don't buy 3 bottles of BBQ sauce just because they're on sale, like I used to -- don't have the room here. I have prioritized the closet storage for essentials like TP!

My husband and I don't make a big deal of Valentine's Day -- our wedding anniversary is Feb. 5 so we do something fancy to celebrate that. No gifts allowed for V-Day -- just an exchange of nice cards with heartfelt messages. I hate, hate, hate the pressure that comes along with this holiday that tries to make men feel bad for not forking over $$ for jewelry, flowers, chocolates, etc., and makes many singletons feel crappy about their relationship status. I had many years of that, and it's stupid. I don't need an arbitrary holiday to acknowledge my loved ones -- I do that all the time! ...and now I will step down from my soapbox. ;)

That said, it's nice to have an excuse to spend the extra time to make a little fancier dinner than is our usual weeknight fare (my husband works long hours!). For V-Day, I made a nice dinner at home -- lamb ragu over polenta, prefaced by a simple arugula salad with lemon-dijon vinaigrette. Since we love a good cheese plate for dessert, we ended with the baked feta with fig compote that lazy_lurker had as an appetizer (thanks to the Kitchn for the great recipe -- I've sent it to a few foodie friends to try).

It was really quite lovely having some quiet time at home with my husband. We live in Manhattan and have plenty of opportunities to experience great food at great restaurants. No need to join the masses for special prix-fixe menus at over-busy restaurants on Feb. 14.

Oatmeal aside (though I do love it)...I love that illustration, which is from the cover of the edition of "Little House in the Big Woods" that I read over and over as a kid (along with the other books in the series) :-) Unexpected reminder of happy book memories!

Agree with Jzzphan. I have spent the last few years working hard to whittle down all the stuff I used to own to more manageable proportions, and then this past summer I moved to NYC, where most people don't have room for extra anything, much less the space to display it. Consumables are often best!

Another thought: see if there's a party rental place nearby where you can rent glassware, dinnerware, etc. for pretty cheap. My old roommate and I used to do this for parties and it was great -- way cheaper than buying an extra couple-dozen wine glasses or whatever, and then we didn't have to store them for the other 51 weeks of the year, and could rent just the specific kind of glassware we needed for a particular party (sometimes wine glasses, other times martini glasses, etc.). Didn't even have to wash them, just rinse and put back in the crates.

Husband and I recently moved to NYC from MN. We are a shoes-off-inside household -- not only is it our norm, but we rent an apartment with hardwood floors. Walking around with shoes on will annoy the crap out of your downstairs neighbors, and that is compounded exponentially when you put a whole party's worth of shoe-wearing people in your apartment (I can attest to this; our upstairs neighbors do it a lot), plus it saves the floors from more wear and tear. We are short of storage by our front door, so our guests just leave their shoes on the entryway rug. NBD.

A friend who's throwing a Christmas party next month tries hard to be considerate of her neighbors, and put in the party invitation that it's a no-shoes event. She suggested everyone wear festive socks and is planning to have a few extra pairs for folks that forget to wear/bring a pair. It's not a fancy-dress party so there shouldn't be anyone who's night is ruined by her carefully chosen outfit-and-shoes plan getting disrupted, but at least folks who are normally shoes-on have gotten fair warning in enough time to plan appropriately! :)

I grew up in the Upper Midwest and it was the norm with my family and pretty much everyone else I can think of visiting to take your shoes off when you came inside. Probably this has as much to do with sloppy winter shoes/boots and wet fall/spring shoes/boots, not to mention tracking in the salt and sand that's everywhere to combat ice and then what's left over from a winter of such come spring. I never really thought about it. It's just what we did.

Only shoes that needed to dry (from snow or rain) got to live by the door -- after drying, you had to put them in your room. Five people's shoe-clutter gets out of hand real quick, and we didn't have storage for the shoes by the door. My last two domiciles had nice-sized entryways; neither had storage, though, so again, every few days we would haul a couple of pairs each upstairs to our closet, where our shoe libraries lived.

Upon first visit to a house where I don't know their habits, I ask whether they'd like me to take off my shoes. I'm also always ready to go shoe-less when I visit someone else's house, even if I don't know their custom. If it's chilly and I don't already have socks on, I'll stash some in my handbag. I don't throw or attend many (if any) fancy-dress parties that are in someone's home, so I don't have to worry about my dress/shoes combo getting messed up. If it's fancy enough that I'm in a dress and pumps, I just make sure my pedicure is fit for public viewing and/or grab a pair of low-cut socks with fancy trim that are in keeping with the dressiness level of my outfit.

Ugh...my family is easy; DH's isn't. My parents, sibs, and I have a pattern that works as best as it can for the three of us kids and OUR in-laws. So we usually know what's happening and when for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

However, DH's parents are divorced and won't speak or attend an event the other will be at. MIL is a big guilt-tripper, and also is socially awkward and won't ever come to events with my family because it's uncomfortable/overwhelming/too far to drive/whatever; my two SILs don't have any relationship with their dad. So inviting everyone over to our house together isn't an option because they wouldn't come at the same time. Not that we could accommodate them all comfortably in our house: my family (both sibs are married w/kids) and DH's (both sibs are married/engaged; oldest has 8 kids -- yes, 8 -- undisciplined and don't really care whether they see us, one of them I think doesn't even know my name even after 4 years).

MIL also doesn't remember from year to year what the last year's division of holiday time was, and so gets upset about being "slighted" even when she DID see us on a particular holiday. DH's older sister with all the kids doesn't spend holidays with her husband's family, and younger sister lives in TN, so if she's home, they're with MIL. Except when older SIL-with-kids chooses to stay home with her own family and then MIL is all alone (believe me, we get the blame for that too if we don't go...hello, DH is one of three kids! why are we the ones who get the blame?).

And of course, when we spend time with my family, I get the blame from MIL and SILs, even though our decisions for where to spend what part of which holiday are joint decisions. Thankfully my mom is more understanding (though she is still sad when we have to choose time with DH's family over with mine), and DH's dad doesn't care if he and his wife see us ON a holiday, as long as we find time to get together!

Compounding the issue this year is that, this summer, we moved from MN to NY for a three-year stint for DH's work (we still own our house in MN and consider it our long-term home) and so it's our first holiday back after living half a continent away. You can imagine how much extra angst there is since our time is limited and everyone wants to see us TWICE (everyone thinks that, since we'll be back for 10 days, we have nothing else to do...forgetting there is yardwork to do before winter, other commitments with friends and loved ones, and the simple drive time required to get to our people).

ARGH!!!!!!!!!! Okay, thanks for letting me rant to you folks who can sympathize. I am sorry for the difficulties you face in your negotiations as well! :)

When my late husband was going through chemo, his favorite post-treatment meal was macaroni salad with a mayo-based dressing, canned tuna, and celery. He said it tasted as good as anything did with the changes to how food tasted to him, didn't bother his mouth sores, and - more importantly, he said - didn't bother him too much when it came back up. (sorry if that's TMI, but it's something to consider!)

I sure wish I'd had all of these other great food suggestions to try when he was going thru chemo (the internet was not as helpful back in 1998-2000!). I was young, newly married, still in college, and just learning to be a wife and to cook and to manage a grown-up household! Best of luck to your friends, and kudos to you for being so thoughtful. I second the suggestions of things specially for your friend herself -- as the caregiver, she'll need some extra TLC too, as she's probably not going to be taking good care of herself in the midst of everything else.