Shaska's Profile

First off, I have to say I had to register after reading all of your comments on this topic, which I found very inspiring and helpful. Nice to see all the love and respect towards that one person we can always count on!

Linz, I know times are tough now. The anxiety and stress you may be experiencing at this time might make you funnel some of the frustrations into the form of your pet peeve(s).

If I were you:
1) I'd be relieved to be out of a relationship before I wasted too much of my precious time with someone I was not a match with. I'd take good notes of the lessons learned and use them to find the perfect (or quasi perfect) partner for myself. I'm sure you'll find lots of suitors in your new surroundings! :) Don't close yourself, don't change your essence, don't deprive others from the chance to see the real you . . . and the chance to love you and be loved by you!
2) As many others pointed out, I'd let my mom have her things the way she likes them. She has lived long enough on her own and is used to having her things her way. It would probably drive me a bit crazy, if I were spending lots of time at home with her but . . . you are going to university and are going to have a very busy lifestyle anyway. Even if you chipped in financially, it is ultimately her house and you will still be a temporary guest. I would definitely not let any roommate change my place around because they were renting a room from me! I have to say, when my friends come over for dinner and offer to wash/put away the dishes, it drives me insane the next day if I cannot find a cooking tool where it's meant to be - or I find a dish that doesn't pass my quality control because I'm a clean freak!
3) If I found my room to be occupied (or maybe decorated) with my mom's stuff, I'd kindly ask if I could put all those things in storage for her in order to make room for all my things - winter clothes and schooling items can take A WHOLE LOT of space. I would probably try a: "Mom, you think I could move some stuff out of my room to make space for my things? Would you like me to put them somewhere else, or I could pack them up and put them in storage until I leave?" If she chooses to put them somewhere else in her house, then it would give me an opportunity to suggest helping her sort out certain areas on certain dates to "make room" for these things. It is essential though, that the one making the decisions is her, kind of like coaching her without her noticing!
4) If I could not concentrate because of my surroundings, I'd have to find alternate places for studying.
5) I'd make sure I helped her with chores to ease the burden AND would make sure to do much more than my fair share, after all, she did a lot for me when I was under her care - and I'm not a child anymore. This would also give me an opportunity to go through (i.e.) old photo albums, help her sort them out and maybe, maybe sneak a style attack on her without raising any flags of suspicion! ;)
6) If there was a make-over program that I enjoyed, I'd definitely try to get her hooked! Think of it as a challenge to get people do things you want them to do by leading them to make that decision without them noticing! You can show others where the water is (and maybe drink yourself a bit and even say how refreshing and delicious it is), but you can't force them to drink it . . .
7) ABOVE ALL, I'd try my very, very best never to offend my mom. That's not something I'd want to live with. I am aware that one day she'll leave this world and it would be sooo hard on me and my brother (we are reaching our forties already) . . . so, if I do anything that would hurt her or offend her, I'd make sure to make up for it. This is the reason why I keep most of my judgements to myself (out of respect, when it comes to my mom, because I am not generally shy to dish out my opinions) and offer advice on what I deem absolutely necessary. I think this is one of those instances in which one should count to 1,000 before speaking our minds and saying something we might later regret.
8) I would discuss curfew FOR SURE!!!
9) And yes, there will be LOTS of sacrifice AND patience involved (in this case from your part) but she'll be compromising as well, let's not forget about that!
10) I have to clarify, my mom (who is 73yo and very conservative) is not the easiest person to be around, but she tries her best to improve everyday and she deserves big kudos for that! I'm sure your mom is awesome too!

BONUS: You will be well fed - don't forget to exercise!

P.S.: And I would never feel bad for having these reservations about my mom cramming my style . . . I'm only human and she still (thank goodness) loves me! :D

Good luck and best wishes! :D