margottenenbaum26's Profile

Karate chop pillows...mmm. My nipz are getting hard just thinking about them. That's right. Sue me. Sue me in a court of law.

But seriously, did most of you type your comments in a British accent while eating crumpets and playing croquet? Of course "Keep Calm and Carry On" is brutal, in my opinion. That's because I'm perversely cynical dbag wallowing in my own unshowered misery. "Keep calm and carry on" wall art is for those lucky (read: hellish) people who are blissful and content with their lives, not for my rancid unshowered self. Of course all you similarly jaded pessimists find any instruction to "Dance Like Nobody Is Watching" or to "live, laugh, love" akin to chugging a barrel of liquid cat feces. That's probably because you either despise dancing, or you, like me, are already wont to bust out aggressive dance moves regardless of how hideous you may look.

I know it's tempting to hate on happy people, but you probably don't spend much time with them in real life anyway, so get a grip. Also, interior design, much like all art, fashion, and music, is largely derivative at this point. Nothing is particularly original. When something smells even mildly of originality, blogs and magazines aggressively parade it around and neuter the crap out of it until it cries, makes friends with chevron, lucite chairs, MCM, and whatever else you people have maligned, and slinks off dejectedly into the Pottery Barn Abyss/ comment section of this blog.

Do what you do, peeps. If you're my friend and you have a Keep Calm and Carry On sign, I'll probably make fun of you, but you can come over and rip me a new one for my chevron/jute rug, my wine crate decor, my multiple suzani throws, my MCM chairs, and all the other shiz I unabashedly and unoriginally ripped off from this blog, and will continue to rip off from this blog, and others.

too many pillows on a couch? throw them on the floor, ask for forgiveness later. If someone is too dumb to realize those things are going to have to be moved when a reasonably-sized butt comes over for tea and crumpets, they deserve to have their pillows pooped on by the family poodle. They know they're going to have to move them when company comes over. "Theme rooms done too literally"? I'm not smart enough to even begin to understand what that one means.

My only actual pet peeve is a lovely apartment where everything costs so much that I can't even breathe on it without a chiding look from my friend who treats her knoll womb chair as though it has human feelings and a peanut allergy, or where the chairs are made out of wire and, despite costing a month's rent, when sat on they make me feel like Matilda must have felt when the Trunchbull threw her in the chokey.