RoxT's Profile

jess13, if there is something that you will learn and that will become abundantly clear to you upon becoming a mother it's that you have no idea what you're doing and that you currently don't know what you're talking about.

There is nothing wrong with the author's preparations. I don't think anyone is saying that. I think they're just encouraging her to keep in mind that you can prepare all you want, but once baby comes you should relax and give-up on plans and expectations. No one is telling her to sit on her butt in squalor. In fact, I think the author's preparations are a reflection of her understanding that once the baby arrives, she won't be able to just do whatever. . .

And when that happens, she (and you, hopefully) will learn that you can be the most accomplished, organized and successful person with all your "successful methods" of preparing for things, but NONE of these things will matter when your child comes, because none of this can prepare you for parenthood. Your baby will pretty much decide your life for you (at least for a while). If you hang on to these methods of yours, you will only become needlessly frustrated and stressed, which won't help anyone, least of all your baby. The advice to relax and enjoy the journey is not condescending. Since you're not a parent, though, you just don't know that and can't appreciate it.

I hope your plan to get pregnant next year works, and that your transition to motherhood is as smooth as possible. You should be aware, however, that all your "successful methods" won't guarantee you a thing. Take it from someone who once thought the way you do, and who is now (by God's grace) a parent, but learned (the very hard way) that you cannot plan or truly prepare for any of it.

So sorry to hear about your wedding photos! What a bummer. I hope you get them.

I think you nailed it when you said "memories don't need photographic evidence to last a life time." I find that photos can be detrimental to us remembering the things that matter: how we felt that day, how things smelled, the feeling we had and all the other elements that make a memory. If I tell myself to remember something, rather than pause to take a photo of it, I enjoy the moment more and have a more vivid memory of it. Of course, you probably couldn't have been thinking this way the day of your wedding since you had no reason to think your photographer would be such a flake :(.

I think photos of oneself (like wedding photos) should be reserved for "private space" like bedrooms. If you have photos in "community space" like the living room, then they should be small and mixed in with other artwork/display items. I've seen people print poster sized photos of their kids (or of their wedding) and put them in the living room, and while the photos are often beautiful, it seems like it only encourages an egomania that we're all already very prone to :). That said, I do like flipping through peoples albums (online or in my lap).

"Brilliant?" Really? The "brilliance" is much too subtle for me, as I've missed it entirely. A rake, suitcases and a ladder in the dining room? These things are absurd props. Never mind the wonky proportions of the rug and furniture. Then the ever popular and, of course, over-priced, Hunter rain boots posing at the front door. . .

Apartment therapy has a very diverse audience, which is great. At least we all have that going for us!

Gritcherd85, I'm sorry that your husband left. I'm glad to hear that your father and husband's father are there for your daughter.

I, too, think this place is uninteresting and kind of dull. The proportions of the dining room look off, too.

I have the song in my head now :).

My almost 2 year old is mildly fixated on kits right now, and I've been wanting to get a nice one that we can (hopefully) use for a few summers. Thanks for the great suggestions!

I think it's weird, but all the best to them!

In the meantime, God is in the Details' comment was hilarious.

Our friends, Sam and Essie, had the most fun and memorable wedding we ever attended (our was memorable :), but admittedly, not as fun). There was nothing chic or trendy about it. The ceremony was meaningful and beautiful, but it was the reception that was an absolute blast. Sam is of African descent (to my shame, I can't remember which country), but grew-up in the UK and Essie is originally from Senegal, Their wedding was in Chicago which is where we all met. Either way, I think their cultural heritages played a big role in the feel of the wedding, which was so joyful and so fun. Everyone got up and danced after dinner, and I mean, everyone. It was a dry wedding, too. It's like we were all infected with joy because of their union. They were married shortly after we were and I remember thinking I'd spent so much time and energy trying to have our wedding look "just so" when I should've just focused on having fun. I'll never forget their wedding!

So, I realize I'm coming to this discussion 2+ months late, but I was looking through the Chicago contributors (since I live in the area) and checked-out this post of yours. First, how unfortunate and awkward that everyone felt they needed to "console" you for renting. What!? Second, we own, and I so wish we did not! I really wish we had the freedom that comes with renting. Owning is so overrated. Plus, I'm constantly hearing arguments for why owning is really not financially smarter (particularly if the value of your place plummets like ours did). Either way, I'm glad to hear that you are at peace with your decision (as you should be).

All the best!

I, more or less, agree with hinmelb. All these judgmental attitudes about sleep training are baffling to me. We did not sleep train our now 2 year old son because it was really difficult for us to listen to him cry like that; it just didn't sit right with us. Plus, we live in a noisy building and didn't want to disturb our neighbors. However, our neighbors said they didn't mind if he did cry.

Anyway, I have friends who are loving parents with happy, well-adjusted children. These friends went the cry-it-out/sleep training route. They were not and are not cruel people. Each child is different, just as each parent is different. Parenting is hard enough, you don't need people telling you you're being cruel or foolish or whatever (of course I'm speaking within reason). Raising a child is humbling enough.