RSmithShelley's Profile

Modern society is complex beyond anything our grandparents would have fathomed in their time. Our standards for happiness are higher than perhaps they've ever been. We have the luxury of considering what would make us happy, and of making choices in that direction. This luxury is relatively new (especially for women), but already we take it for granted. I think it's a fair question to ask whether the institution of marriage is still relevant, given these changes in our collective psyche.

I married someone I loved, because it was the "thing" to do, because it was expected of me, and because my religious upbringing condemned co-habitation and sex outside marriage. I was unhappy from day one, and three years later, we divorced. For me, marriage represented a trap - I felt smothered, stuck, and betrayed by the impossible vows I had made.

I am now in a committed relationship with someone I love dearly. We are not married, and have no plans to be. Yes, we have difficult times, but now I get to choose to work through them because I want to, not because I "have" to, or because I'm afraid of what people will think if I walk away. Staying with someone who makes you miserable isn't love, it's masochism.

So yes, let's call marriage what it is: a social and legal contract that gets you a new name, a different tax status, and shared health care benefits. Beyond that, it's what you make of it, just like any other relationship.

This is a great list of traditional medicine cabinet contents. I'd love to see AT do a similar list of the top-ten natural cures for common ailments (for example, I always have tea tree oil, apple cider vinegar, and baking soda around...).