Splitty's Profile

When I was a kid, my house was the place where we all hung out after school, primarily because my parents kept us well supplied in nacho chips and mini Snickers bars. Years later, I ran into an old friend who was now a social worker. She commented that, after seeing some of the kids she was working with, she realized what a wise investment my parents had made--for the price of a bag of Tostitos and a bottle of Diet Coke, they bought us a safe place to hang out and an excuse to avoid trouble.

I think these are sweet. But then again, I enjoy finding out that other people are having (wanted) babies, and I would enjoy receiving one of these (electronically, please; let's not send out a real card until you have a cute photo of the actual baby to share.) It makes me happy to see other people experiencing this particular joy--even people I don't know--so I don't see a problem with baby announcement photos.
If, on the other hand, you were to receive one of these announcements and you found yourself thinking, "ugh," you're actually lucky--your friends are likely to continue to send cute(-sy) cards of this nature when the baby is born, at the winter holidays, for every birthday, etc., so you can consider yourself forewarned and adjust your relationship with these people accordingly.

Lovely list!
You're wise to try to get in some of these "treats" before your little one comes, but remember to treat yourselves to some of these post-baby:

1. Mid-day strolls in the park (that's why they call it a "stroller")
2. An impromptu trip to the zoo or to go apple-picking
3 A ridiculous bath time splash fest
4. Actually making dinner and playing games after putting the baby down to sleep
5. Going to a baby matinee while your little one is small enough to sleep through pretty much anything
6. Neighborhood walks after work, saying hi to the other babies who magically appear on your block.
7. Not going to Buy Buy Baby three times a day.
8. Barbecuing on the weekend and inviting friends over, since you can't go anywhere "nice"
9. Playing hooky and going to the beach with lunch and a board book (and, yes, the baby)
10. Waking up insanely early and sitting on the porch with a cup of tea and a little one who is finally asleep in your lap.
11. Surprise date nights (babysitters are a worthwhile luxury)
12. Quick day trips (a "day trip" with a baby might be an hour at a cafe, but it will have the same effect)
13. Weekend naps with a little one snoozing on your chest
14. Having birthday parties and play dates.
15. Not having to say 'yes' to people for a while.
16. Reading about new restaurants once a week (oh, well)
17. Taking advantage of Happy Hour (if you live in Brooklyn, I guess)
18. Singing lots of songs.
19. Catching up on shows we've missed (Hulu can get you through a lot of long nursing sessions)
20. And last but not least, doing nothing--but this time, doing it with your baby!

Congratulations--you may be losing your "freedom," but you probably won't miss it too much!

The necktie onesie, coupled with that cake-covered grin, is just too cute. Happy birthday, little guy!

In awkward situations, I appreciate being asked what I do, because I am a middle school teacher, and as soon as I say that, people start pouring out stories about their own middle school awkwardness--and pretty soon, nobody is feeling awkward anymore. I suppose I would find the question less exciting if I didn't love both my job and making fun of it. So I guess my point is...for an ice-breaker, find people who look like they might teach sixth grade? Hm...

Ooh, fun! I teach a middle school class called "Craftmaster Challenge" (sort of like a fifth grade Project Runway with googly eyes and glue sticks.) We just received a box of upholstery samples and I was trying to think of what to do with them. Thanks for giving me this week's lesson plan!

Is the "cafe blanc" literally just hot water and orange blossom water, or is there sugar or another sweetener added? What are the proportions? I really want to be at that coffee break right now!

Some comments have lumped a request for a bathroom trash can in with aesthetic preferences about artwork, novelty shower curtains, whatever. Allow me to be very explicit for those who still think that not having a trash can in your bathroom is equivalent to not having a scented candle in there:
People who use your bathroom may need to dispose of tampons, tampon applicators, sanitary pads, medicated wipes for the face or other parts of the body, wads of hair from the shower drain, wads of hair from the hairbrush, used contact lenses, disposable razor blades, used dental floss, and so on. They do not want to carry these objects into your kitchen to throw them away. They probably don't even want to leave them in an unlidded trash can for you to see. They do not want to flush them down your toilet and clog your drains. They are not gross people with disgusting habits. They are not trying to make problems for you; they are trying to avoid making problems for you. They just don't want to be embarrassed. Please, please, give them a trash can--it's for your comfort as much as for theirs.
For the same reason, please leave a plunger in a prominent-enough place that a guest can use it without needing to ask you where it is.

There was an article, maybe in the NYT Book Review, several years ago about how this book is really a guide to parenting. The writer of the article analyzed each page and showed how the parents demonstrate creative, caring, patient parenting--even the presence of checkers in the house was seen as an indicator of quality child-rearing. I certainly appreciate it on that level, but my son just loves it to jar him out of a bad mood!

It can help to expand your definition of who is a suitable friend. When I was in my mid-twenties, I struck up a very close friendship with a colleague--really more of a "corporate spouse," in the sense that we were always partners at work--who was twenty years older than I. Since then, I've cultivated a number of good friendships with women in their fifties and sixties (I'm in my mid-thirties now.) I think it helps to have some friends--real friends, not just mentors--who have had more experience in life and can put your struggles into perspective. (I've also found that most of the fifty-year-old women I know are much more willing to go out for a night of high-energy socializing than I am, but that may just be my personality.)
That being said, I once asked my fifty-year-old friend how people make friends in the "real world" (ie, post college.) She said most of her closest friends now are people she met through work or through her children, and that has certainly been the case for me over the last ten years or so. For those who don't have kids or work alone, I'm not sure what the alternatives are--pets? Volunteering? Yoga classes? Churches and synagogues? Somehow, it seems so much more daunting to ask someone to join you for a post-yoga juice than to ask a colleague to come along on a coffee run, so I really understand the predicament of the original poster!