pkeefer's Profile

"I hate this!" "I hate that!" Today's new, innovative idea is tomorrow's trend, and next week's "hackneyed cliche". If y'all don't constantly turn over your home furnishings, you'll be the proud owners of tomorrow's trite, overdone decor trope. Most people, even in America, (and likely most of you!) can't afford to stay on the "cutting edge" of home furnishing into perpetuity! That's why, when you walk into most peoples' homes, you're just lucky if their stuff even kind of coordinates, let alone is on the hip, avant garde cutting edge of spatial consummation!! I hate Chevrons, I hate Saarinen tables, I hate empty picture frames, I hate granite, I hate Crate and Barrel, I hate Pottery Barn, I hate mirrored furniture, I hate MCM, I hate Barcelona Chairs, I hate Room and Board, I hate Organic Modernism, I hate Tuscan decor, I hate wall decals, I hate travertine, I hate granite counters, I hate fluffed throw pillows.... just sit there on your funky threadbare Craigslist curb alert "find" and lighten up!!

And..... let the sexual harassment begin. It's like the Earth reversing its poles every Eon-- do all y'all predatory women smack your male secretaries on the bum every morning and call him "sweetie"? I feel bad for the average looking dudes who submit their apartments/homes to this site and get ignored. How many decades will Western men have to deal with sexual harassment-- ballpark? Is it an eye-for-an-eye kind of thing where the score will be settled in 30 thousand years? Just don't get mad when I start ogling the cute young "chicks" who get featured in home tours-- talking about how I'd like to make her breakfast the morning after on her retro Big Chill range, or how my clothes would look good strewn about her Flokati rug, or how I can't wait to see my size 11's tucked under her Case Study Bed. Game on, ladies... Game on!

A little too reminiscent of that show "Hoarders". If I came to pick up someone for a date and their patio looked like this, I'd be concerned. OCD? I'd be watching how much they drank, how often they washed their hands, ask if they considered themselves a "collector", see if I could time how long they spent in the shower, how many times they unlocked the latch before finally opening the front door. I'd be waiting for the other shoe to drop... Ha!

Yup- move yourself by yourself. If you can't, and you're a woman, use your boyfriend. That's what he's for. If you can't and you're a guy, 1) admit that you're a wuss, and 2) hire a mover. I have moved households 7 times in 10 years and have never stolen my friends' hard-earned weekend by being a cheapskate.