babybamf's Profile

I did country for 4 years. 5 miles to my nearest neighbor, 10 miles to a gas station. No internet or TV, just cows and pasture and silence. 2 of those years were just me and my baby (we moved when he was just over 2).

I moved to the city 2 years ago and have been working myself ever closer to downtown and higher density neighborhoods ever since :) It's still just me and my kid. Only now we have no car and we have restaurants, museums and street markets within walking distance. School and work are walking distance too.

I miss the peace of the country. And the space, the privacy and the safety. I thought nothing of doing dishes while I watched my 18mo toddle around the yard from the kitchen window. Now at 4, he's not allowed to leave the apartment by himself and we have no outdoor space. I miss the stars at night, there is nothing like having a glass of wine in your yard after a long day and looking up to see the Milky Way stretched out across the silent sky. And sunbathing nude in my yard while hanging laundry on the line! Can't do that in the city . . . ;)

I don't miss my commute, living 20 miles outside of town meant doing anything was a trip, esp when hauling a kid around. I got so tired of that drive every day. Or the constant battle against critters. I still deal with the occasional rat or raccoon, but there are no snakes or coyotes or possums here (or bees in my dining room wall or skunks under the house!). I don't miss the isolation. It was hard to get people to come visit or even come over for dinner. I don't miss the lack of food and shopping choices.

Now, I can walk and meet friends for a drink after work and be home in 5 minutes. My son and I can walk to a playground, there's no loading up the car and driving 30+ minutes just to get there. There are museums and zoos, we can go for an hour and then head home for lunch. Street fairs, concerts, plays, jazz in the garden . . . I love living in the city. We're never home!

We may end up back in the country one day. I have no desire to live in a small town or the suburbs (grew up in the burbs). We'll see. I'm glad I did it, even if it was hard. And I'm glad I'm in the midst of the city now!

I've been traveling alone with my now 4 year old since he was 10 weeks old. We fly 3-4 times a year. I 100% agree with the sling and Beco! My baby carriers were great, esp since it was just me and him and I had to wrangle all the luggage and car seat as well. I wish I had known about that car seat carrier, would have made several trips MUCH easier.

I always buy a small book or two and some cheap toys (like hot wheels cars) before the trip as well. I break them out one at a time as needed, the novelty keeps my son occupied a little longer than normal. Washable crayons are great, they come right off airline trays with a baby wipe (I obviously have paper, but 2yos are messy). I bring treats for the plane ride that he's not normally allowed to have at home: fruit chewies (which are perfect for popping ears during landing/take off), yogurt-covered raisins, Goldfish, etc. Nothing crumbly and nothing sticky though.

I also discovered that once my son was mobile, it was better to board last instead of first. It gave him more time to walk around and expend energy and less time sitting in his seat waiting for everyone to board.

I have a 4 year old son and yes, I've noticed it in catalogs and with toys. My son's favorite animal is a cat. It is next to impossible to find clothing with a cat on it that is not pink, sparkly or ruffled. Little boys like things other than trucks, sports, dinosaurs and dogs.

He also went through a phase where he wanted a baby doll, but he wanted it to "look like him" with similar clothes . . . It was nearly impossible to find inexpensive doll accessories and clothes that weren't pink and ruffled and had "Mommy" emblazoned all over them. I don't care if his doll is pink, buthe very clearly wanted a boy baby. I ended up just making him some things for his baby doll.

Yes, he loves trains and trucks, but that's not all he loves. He loves to cook, to help me clean, to help decorate and My Little Pony. We've come a long way with allowing girls to play with "boy" toys, but not nearly far enough with allowing boys to play with "girly" toys.

jdoey, not everyone who wants to live near family and work is 'entitled'. Not everyone can afford to move far away from their jobs and family. Financial realities differ widely.
Here's mine, just to give you an alternate story of 'common sense and logic'. I live in a HCOL area. In order to find a home that costs 30% of my take-home, I'd have to move at least 2 hours away from my workplace. I have a 4 year old. I can't waste 4 hours a day, or more since traffic is awful, commuting. I would either never see my child, or he'd spend 4hrs/day in the car with me (I'm a divorced parent, my former partner has choosen to no longer be involved in our child's life, so I'm also a sole parent).
I moved into the city instead. I pay 60% of my income in rent, for a 750sq ft apartment in a somewhat questionable area of town, which I was lucky to find as I was prepared to move us into about 600sq ft. I had to sell my car, but that's okay because I have public transportation available. My commute is now 20min and I get to spend time with my child and have a life.
In addition, my family is 30min away and they help care for my son, which minimizes my childcare costs. I pay for part-time care instead of full-time care, which is a difference of over $1000/mo. If I had to pay full childcare, I wouldn't be able to afford rent.

We lived in a rural, LCOL area before moving here.Yes, my rent was less than 1/3 of what I pay for about 3x the space, but I was also making about 40% of what I make now. I had higher transportation costs since I had to drive everywhere. Plus, my child care costs were still about 50% of my take-home pay and back-up care cost even more, so I lost income every time my child was sick or daycare was closed.

Living in the HCOL city, close to work and close to family, has actually reduced my cost of living, despite the astronomical rent. In addition, our quality of life has exponentially risen. There is more to do here and I like the fact that my son is exposed to a huge variety of things and people. Living in the city makes financial sense for my family and emotionally it is much, much more satisfying.

Oh no! I love EDF. The recipes may not be as amazing or as impressive as MSL, but since I'm on a very tight budget (both financially and with time), I enjoy EDF much, much more. I always thought of MSL as aspirational or for people like my mom, who is retired and has the luxury of being able to hunt down (and buy) unusual ingredients and spend all day cooking. EDF is for people like me, a single mom who works fulltime and loves to eat good food, despite only having a $250 monthly food budget and 30min to cook each night. Although, my mom does tend to 'borrow' my EDF and I never see the issues again!

Like JaxLBC, I just use rubber bands. They're free and multipurpose!

What MegW said.
I don't have a guest room, but can easily accomodate an overnight guest on a moment's notice. Well, on about 15min notice so I can put that last load of laundry away and clear up the latest art project!

My 3 year old has the Ikea KURA bed, flipped so it's lofted. It's perfect! Especially since his room is not quite 9x11, so space is at a premium. Underneath, I put a star lamp and small forward facing bookshelf on the wall, his bean bag monster and one of his map play rugs on the floor. He can sit under the bed and read in his private nook (all his noisy books live under there) or play cars on the rug. Having more floor space means more room for wooden train tracks and elaborate setups, we often have the trains running under the bed and back out again, and he plays in his room for hours.

As a bonus, because it's slightly more difficult to get in and out of bed, the "getting out of bed every 5 minutes when it's time to go to sleep" trick has just about disappeared. He can do it on his own easily, it's just that the extra effort makes pointless trips more of a pain. Plus, his bed is now only for sleeping, not playing, which also helps his bedtime routine.

The sheets can be a pain to change, but they're still much easier than crib sheets. The bed is low enough that I can still reach him no matter where he scoots to (and I'm only 5'4"). The only thing I don't like about it is I can't cuddle with him while reading stories. The bed isn't made to hold more than 100 or so pounds. We've had to move our nightly bedtime reading to the couch.

I'm sure that once he hits 6 or 7, the space underneath will feel too small, but that's okay. I bought the bed on Craigslist for $80, so 3-4 years of use is worth it!

It's so nice to see a house that wasn't put together by a designer! This looks loved and lived in, not a showplace. I love this site, but in the past year or so, 'normal' homes have become fewer and fewer and the focus has shifted to professional designers and homes of people in the industry. Which . . . that's fine, but I miss this kind of home too. I can get professional design inspiration from dozens of other sites and magazines. Home tours like this are why I come to AT.

@Pi, not totally true. I recently moved to DC and spent several months comparing prices in NoVA, MD and DC. If you want to be within walking distance of a Metro, DC is cheaper than NoVA. MD varies, depending on how sketchy you want to get.

I have one of those coveted $1500 2-bd apartments. I'm up by Ft. Totten in a new-ish apartment complex. I don't own a car and my preschooler goes to a public charter, which means I no longer have the $1400/mo daycare expense that I had in VA or would have in MD. DC public schools are bad, but not universally so (there are some decent elementary and charters in the mix) and the early childhood education programs are actually pretty good.
My apartment doesn't have the character that one in say, Adams Morgan, Dupont Circle or even Columbia Heights has, but it's safe, walking distance to the Metro and affordable. It looks and feels like most apartments in NoVA actually. Only without the commute, no need for a car and free preschool. I make about half the listed median wage and we lack for nothing, I even have money for a kickball league and weekly brunches!

I plan on staying in the city for at least another 2 years. When my son gets to 1st grade, I'll be re-evaluating depending on what school he's attending.