LeslieM's Profile

Great post and great comment thread. I'm glad to be reminded I'm not the only one, and it's not a problem just for singles and over-50s. I only moved locally, from Manhattan out to Connecticut, but it's still hard to meet new people, especially when work and commute pretty much eat up the week. Weekends turn into "recovery" time. One other idea, if you're open to it, is finding a compatible faith-based organization, meditation group, or similar. Hey, there are even groups for atheists! Finding like-minded people with similar values ups the chances of clicking. And as others have mentioned, volunteering and taking classes. I'm still only slowly getting around to any of this, of course!

I am single and have done two cross-country moves in the last five years, and a local move just 6 months ago. I did categories of stuff at a time, and designated a place for packed boxes to go (a spare room, closet stuff in the closet it came from, etc. I also started by designating what I would TRULY NEED in the time before and during the move and setting that aside, like packing for a vacation. You cannot avoid being inconvenienced, or frustrated that you don't have your full wardrobe or your full kitchen. You just have to accept a certain level of chaos and deprivation.

The key thing I have learned is to accurately label what's in each box. I started off pretty well, but as moving day neared and I had to hurry, I got sloppy. As a result, I have been living in my new place (which also needed a kitchen remodel, so forget unpacking the kitchen stuff until that was done) six months and still have not found the box that has my flatware! Definitely find a way to flag the boxes that have such crucial contents so that you can easily spot them in a massive stack of boxes.

I miss being in the military, when the Navy paid for packers!

I think as long as both parties are flexible and respectful of one another, differing styles can work out just fine. That said, like lyonstill, I've lived alone a long time and really like having things MY way! My cousin, also in her 50s, has been in a relationship with someone for 10 years, and it works because they each have their own house and their own style.

The dealbreaker for me would be a lack of respect and flexibility, not their style.

Back-of-door shoe organizers are also great for utility closets, to hold miscellaneous small items.

I love what littlemisssunshine said: "Propping is done best when it makes meaningful things beautiful." I agree with most of the commenters on objets that truly reflect what the owner cherishes. I went to the site mentioned from tumblr, and while some of it was funny, some also just seemed spiteful. Though I guess it underscores the point that one person's prop is another person's treasure, and vice versa.

I must add, though, that bar carts remind me of soap operas. Until it became such a trend, I don't think I ever saw a bar cart in a real person's home. Bar, maybe...

Here in NYC, tipping the super and other staff at the holidays or when they do something for you above and beyond their job description goes a long way to keeping good relationships.

If you keep late hours at home, recognize that your neighbors are likely sleeping. I did once rap on the ceiling with a broom at 2am when the new upstairs people seemed to be dragging dead bodies and heavy furniture across the floor over my bedroom. They got the message.

And if you're a dog owner, please believe your neighbors if they tell you the dog barks and whines at length when you're away, and take real measures to prevent it, like doggie day care or behavioral training. You'll be doing your neighbors and your dog a favor.

This is why I've kept a car the whole 12 years I've lived in NYC. It's not cheap, but my sanity is worth it. I've lived in SF, too, and you definitely have some great assets nearby, like Ocean Beach, Baker Beach, or GG Park. When the parks here in NY aren't enough, I drive up the Hudson to one of the river towns or up to the Catskills. Part of staying sane in the city is having the ability to escape it.

I went deliberately dresser-less for many years, but in my current NYC apartment I found it hard to squeeze everything into the bedroom closets, and I also lacked a decent surface on which to put my jewelry boxes (I hang necklaces on the wall, but earrings and smaller stuff are too cluttery to put out). So I got a Hemnes 4-drawer dresser, which is perfect for my "smalls" and athletic and sleep clothes, plus nicer scarves and sweaters. I also got a cheap but nice-looking large mirror at HomeGoods to hang over it. I can't believe how much easier my dressing/undressing routine is now.

I doubt that I've ever gotten sick from sleeping next to my cat, but I've sure gotten sick many times due to coworkers who bring their kids' colds, intestinal bugs, and whatnot with them to work. The comfort I get from my purring pal far outweighs any potential health risk.

The videos are really taking shape, Maxwell; fun, casual, instructive!

I have a divided landing strip: an antique mantel shelf and mirror on the wall in my narrow entry hall (with just a bowl of spare/car keys and a spot I put things I need to remember next day), with coat hooks next to it for my purse (with keys) and coat; then the foyer, with a small table and chair for sitting to lace or pull on shoes. "Current" shoes go under the table, along with my work bag; yoga bag also lives there. Periodically I purge and put extra shoes and bags back into the closets.

I don't usually have much mail, and my building thoughtfully provides a bin for junk mail right next to the mailboxes. But I'm not very good at sitting down at the desk to look at and file everything I do get. Another conundrum is when I am coming home from work and have stopped at the grocery store on the way: Do I take the groceries into the kitchen first, then come back to drop bags/coat/shoes, or do I put down the groceries in the foyer to do the drop, then pick them up and take them into the kitchen? I've done it both ways and both seem awkward. I really wish my kitchen were closer to the door.