Montalvo's Profile

The obligation of a good host is to be hospitable. Hospitality involves making people feel at home. This forum clearly demonstrates that, for some, feeling at home entails being shoeless; for others, it entails wearing shoes. If you can't graciously accommodate BOTH those wearing shoes AND those who are shoeless, your capacity as a host may well be impaired. (And don't judge preference based on those who haven't complained about your restriction; well-mannered guests won't voice their discontent.)

Sure, you have every right to enforce the rules of your house. You can demand that guests not sit on your furniture. You can choose to only serve them Kool Aid (ugh!). But any such restrictions will necessarily increase the likelihood that your guests will not feel at home...and that degrades your performance as a host.

Good hosts endeavor to anticipate and accommodate the wants and needs of their guests. If your home cannot allow that because it has fragile flooring or because your children regularly lick the carpeting or because you're allergic to ubiquitous chemicals, you should either eschew the role of host, select a restaurant venue or accept that some guests will justifiably view you as inhospitable. And if it's the latter, you need to recognize that it's YOUR failure, not that of your guests.

I've learned much from reading these posts. As with most of my fellow Californians, I only take my shoes off when I go OUTSIDE. I've felt insulted by those who have visited my home and removed their shoes, feeling that they showed inappropriate familiarity. But now I'll try to be more tolerant. I hope those on the shoeless side have gained some similar insights.

What more can be added that hasn't been said in 200 posts over almost two years? Just this:

The obligation of a good host is to be hospitable. Hospitality involves making people feel at home. This forum clearly demonstrates that, for some, feeling at home entails being shoeless; for others, it entails wearing shoes. If you can't graciously accommodate BOTH those wearing shoes AND those who are shoeless, your capacity as a host may well be impaired. (And don't judge preference based on those who haven't complained about your restriction; well-mannered guests won't voice their discontent.)

Sure, you have every right to enforce the rules of your house. You can demand that guests not sit on your furniture. You can choose to only serve them Kool Aid (ugh!). But any such restrictions will necessarily increase the likelihood that your guests will not feel at home...and that degrades your performance as a host.

Good hosts endeavor to anticipate and accommodate the wants and needs of their guests. If your home cannot allow that because it has fragile flooring or because your children regularly lick the carpeting or because you're allergic to ubiquitous chemicals, you should either eschew the role of host, select a restaurant venue or accept that some guests will justifiably view you as inhospitable. And if it's the latter, you need to recognize that it's YOUR failure, not that of your guests.

I've learned much from reading these posts. As with most of my fellow Californians, I only take my shoes off when I go OUTSIDE. I've felt insulted by those who have visited my home and removed their shoes, feeling that they showed inappropriate familiarity. But now I'll try to be more tolerant. I hope those on the shoeless side have gained some similar insights.