jpozner's Profile

Seriously? An hour of television can shave 22 minutes off of a sedentary person's life? Well, if there is actually any merit to this study, then considering the fact that I watched more than 1,000 hours of reality TV to research and write www.realitybitesbackbook.com -- and sat at my desk transcribing at least 25% of that source material, which took several hours per episode -- I guess I'm going to die really, really young.

I love airbnb.com for this sort of thing -- have rented apartments and houses with friends (and studios for myself) in various states, and have always gotten amazing spaces for next-to-nothing prices.

Until recently, I had no idea that a duvet cover could even BE... $600! That's insanity.

http://www.natori.com/ProductDetail.aspx?ISC_Category=HomeHome%20-%20Imperial%20Palace&ISC_ParentCategory=Home&ISC_SubCategory=NatoriHome

But, when looking for inspiration for bedding at Macy's on a huge sale day, I stumbled on Natori bedding, and instantly fell in love with a gorgeous, silk + velvet embroidery, palatial-looking duvet. There was no way I could ever afford that, so I set up a repeating search on Ebay and every time a new Natori duvet showed up, I checked if it was the one I wanted. I was persistent, and two or three months later, I finally found the duvet I wanted -- and won the auction at around $115, which is definitely still a splurge for me since I'm on a tight budget, but I won't buy another duvet for probably ten years, so it's certainly worth it. I will be sending it to a dry cleaner to make sure there are no bedbugs, though the Ebay seller was a closeouts and store returns reseller who sais that the duvet had never been used. So, I got a $600+tax duvet for $155 all inclusive.

Also, their annual Design on a Dime event with celeb designers serves as their major fundraiser:
http://www.housingworks.org/news-press/detail/housing-works-annual-shopping-fundraiser-design-on-a-dime-takes-place-/

Like several folks have said, I second Housing Works -- not only do they have a variety of stores in Manhattan and Brooklyn where you can search for hidden treasures, but *every dime* you spend there goes to support Housing Works' advocacy around homlessness and HIV/AIDS prevention.

PS: Does anyone have any thoughts on the way the Anthropologie rosette comforter feels? They have one in a purple color, and I like the look of it online, but I wonder if those gathers would feel bothersome, as compared with a smooth silk, satin or combed cotton comforter.

KarinYWCA: I'm so glad to know that the residents are raving about their space. It's lovely, warm and fun, aside from the "Gratitude" sign screaming from the armoire like a reminder that the shelter has saved them. I'm sure that many of the residents have no problem with that big reminder. However, I would urge you to consider this: if even a few residents do feel bad about the word on the armoire (and its potentially loaded cultural baggage around "handouts," "charity," and shame, etc.) how could they ever feel comfortable sharing that with the Y, precisely because of the gratitude they feel to the Y for providing this crucial safe space for them? They would never really be able to question the word on the wall, because any protest about decor would seem the height of... ingratitude.

I'm not saying that anyone *does* feel uncomfortable; I don't know the individual women living in the space. Perhaps the women currently living there never gave it a second thought. But I do know many people who have grown up in either poverty or domestic violence situations (some both), and a common theme is being made to feel ashamed for needing help, or being assumed to be lazy because they needed help, etc. While the intent of your (extremely talented and generous) designer, and of the Y, to help these women is wonderful, there's a way in which that word -- so big, so bold, especially as the only word used as a design element -- undermines the intent by serving as a reminder that this is not the residents' "real" home. It could make them feel like charity cases.

So while I'm not saying that the women *are* uncomfortable, I'm saying that the *potential* for discomfort exists now -- and since it does, why put your current and future residents in that position? Why not just eliminate the potential for that discomfort?

The resistance to many people on this thread saying that this could cause emotional harm by saying, "Oh, but no one complained," is troubling to me. Everyone on the thread has expressed thanks and praise for the service you're providing, and how the Y has gone the extra mile to make the shelter a comforting and lively environment for residents to thrive in. I would hope that you'd consider our gentle suggestion to remove this one small element that *could* be doing some unintended emotional damage to some of the residents, who would be in no position to honestly express any distaste.