KFarley's Profile

Clearly the author of this post is writing this as satire. It is really making fun of his ridiculous tweets if you read the whole thing!

I think the idea of keeping kids out of school until they are a little older is great, but for different reasons. Schools are increasingly focused on academics and testing in even kindergarten and first grade. Letting them wait to start kindergarten or do two years allows them to stay "young" a little longer and do what 4 and 5 year olds should be doing developmentally--playing and moving! We are in Waldorf school, and most children do two years of kindergarten and must be six by May 1 before starting first grade. It's amazing how ready the kids are to take on academics when they have been given the time grow a bit!

It seems like children need to learn that calm, respectful behavior is something that is expected in situations like car rides, plane trips, restaurant outings, etc. without needing constant entertainment. As parents, we need to have realistic expectations of what our kids can handle and what they can not. When my kids were very young, we simply did not take long plane trips. Now that we are out of the toddler days, we are on the go and the kids are ready to handle it. If I want to have a long adult conversation and meal with my spouse, I will hire a babysitter and go out to dinner when the kids are in bed. I think technology is often used as a way to placate children in situations that are really inappropriate for the age of the child (i.e. long meals in a restaurant).
My kids have no tech whatsoever in their lives, and they are comfortable playing, reading, coloring, looking out the window, listening to music, etc. because they are not expecting anything more. At the doctor's office they will watch the fish in the tank and look at the books because they don't know any different. Of course there are times when they cry or meltdown like all kids. But handing them an iPad in that situation, in my mind, is robbing them of the experience of learning how to regulate their behavior and responses internally.
It seems like "parenting" these days is defined as being engaged in some kind of project, outing or kid-centric activity at all times. To me, parenting is a 24-7 activity that is all about living and working together as a family. We make dinner every night and the kids play outside or right in the kitchen with us. They know we have a job to do and can not entertain them at that time, but we can still be together. We are actively parenting in that moment, and expecting them to do their own thing and let the adults work is a huge life lesson that needs to come early. Putting the kids in front of a screen prevents that from ever happening. If your children learn to be with us without seeing us as the source of all entertainment, the feeling of "needing a break" really diminishes.

I continued to use pull ups on outings until my kids were about three. They were almost always dry but I did not want to deal with wet pants in the middle of the grocery store and it worked fine. We also kept a potty in the back of our car for times when there was not a handy public restroom and the kids needed to really go!
As for night time, I did not try to "train" them at night. It seems like too much pressure for something they really can't control. I simply put them in night time diapers until the diapers were dry for about two weeks straight when they woke in the morning. We never even discussed it with them...we just announced to them, "wow, your diapers are dry! I think you are ready for PJs with no diapers!!" We definitely don't do underwear at night--just jammies--healthier for girls especially and more comfortable. All three of our kids were dry at night by age 3.5 and we've had less than a handful of wet sheets between the three of them.

Okay, one other point...
We all chose to have kids. I love having a wide circle of friends, an active career, working out every day, sleeping ten hours a night, etc. but it is an unrealistic expectation for me to maintain everything in that lifestyle and be involved with my kids on a day to day basis as they deserve. It would be like taking on a new job and telling my boss, "hey, I'm only going to make it into the office 8 hours per week, cause I love doing all the things I do outside of work and they really make me a better employee". Parenting is a full time job and then some, and we owe it to our kids to recognize that we need to sacrifice *some* of our outside life to be good parents. Yes, we still have date night, but not three nights a week. And my time out with my girlfriends is far less. And some of those traded hours are spent doing laundry, cleaning out potties, and vaccuming up cheerios (things I'd much rather not do). But, hey, I signed up for this job and I'm going to do it with a smile.