tbigs's Profile

So pretty but white counter tops are the WORST. We (just my husband and I) lived with high end ones for 5 years and destroyed them with very simple use. EVERY SINGLE THING shows on them. EVERYTHING. Drop a crumb from your toast in the morning? Its the FIRST thing you will notice coming through the door at night.

I have a question for everyone, but particularly those who would not want someone to bring something -

so I have a life threatening food allergy, one where if I eat the traces of nuts I am hospitalized and potentially dead.

And I always feel so bad going to peoples houses! I mean, I get that an alive-but-pain-in-the-ass guest is better than a dead guest, but here is my dilemma:

Most of the time, I can't really trust people to make dishes I can eat. Simple ones where the person understands the allergy, sure, but often kitchens that may have used nuts earlier in the day or are making dishes with nuts side by side, or even using ingredients with traces of nuts in them - I just can't eat 'em - itll kill me.

I often ask timidly and politely for people to remove bowls of nuts, or for people to understand that no, I can't eat the salad now that the nuts have been picked out of it, the nut oils are still on the lettuce. Took my in-laws a good year to get that one.

Sure, I let people know ahead of time, but recently I stopped trying and stopped eating. I often decline dinner invitations now, or ask to go out - but I really want to hang out and feel OK about this. Is there a way I can break it to you that I can't eat your food but still like you as a person and hanging out in your house? What can I tell the person who won't let me bring my own dish, insisting they can take care of it? I have tried the restaurant suggestion, but people usually ask us over because they want to host... I have tried being confident and sticking up for myself, but more often than not, I hear people whispering about what a pain in the ass it is behind my back, or even get backhand comments...