chimplantzee's Profile

I'd want the alien from The Explorers (80's movie with Ethan Hawke) to shuffle its feet in my backyard listening to Otis' Redding's "She's All Right".

rump roast!!

thanks for all the great giveaways!

If I win this I will never oversleep, as I promise to wake to loud Norwegian Death Metal every morning.

As my partner and I prepare to move into our 500 sq ft home, our life together has become one big giveaway as we shed houseplants and extra coats and the juicer we never use and weird books on self defense written by a guy named Col. Marvin Blitzkrieg in an effort to prepare ourselves for the modest lifestyle afforded to us by living simply in a small space. We are trying to put our money where our mouths are in terms of living sustainably...the house purchase in addition to driving an old mercedes fueled by biodiesel and adhering to the usual list of sustainable life practices.
Of course it feels good to live simply, and I admit that part of that philosophy should probably include a clause that states that television viewing should be skipped over in favor of long walks or vigorous discourse on post-modern feminism. I accept that, and whereas I feel small pangs of guilt and a tiny pinprick of hypocrisy in my belly when I think the following thoughts, I sometimes think to myself that all of the sustainable practices in the world can go suck an egg if they stand between me and the ability to pause a frame during a zombie movie so that I can zoom in on an undead minion getting their head blown off, or the ability to watch the diaper scene in Raising Arizona over and over again, or Nature documentaries, orthe chance to gather with freinds in our tiny house and stage a "Worst Films of John Travolta Film festival" (and we all know that would be a long festival).
I would like this TV because it will keep me from the wretches of watching "Small Wonder" clips on youtube in a bedful of cracker crumbs.
I would like this TV because it will fit in our new home, and it will allow me to continue my fetishistic consumption of Wes Anderson films, my somewhat compulsive need to watch infomercials Spanish-language dubbed versions of Steven Seagal movies when I can't sleep, my flippant viewing of DVD's of television series that I would never admit to watching in the presence of my liberal-minded friends who would rather pass the time discussing where to find the best samadhi yoga instructor and the likelihood of a viable campaign by Obama.
I can hide out at home and enjoy passive entertainment instead of collecting toilets to languish in my front yard on my slow descent into becoming the creepy guy in the neighborhood who hangs out in his underwear and swears at the neighborhood kids.
I would like the TV for these reasons, and because my partner would never kick a gift horse in the mouth.
Bless your hearts, AT.